Soup Season is Here so Let’s Power Rank Them

Entertainment Everything Else Food Power Rankings Uncategorized

Winter is coming, which means soup season is coming. I think we all can agree that it’s the best cold-weather meal (not up for debate). There are so many options to choose from but here’s the best of the bunch.

10. Chicken Noodle

The peanut butter and jelly of soups. Just a classic. Don’t even need to explain any further.

9. New England Clam Chowder

If you don’t like New England clam chowder you need to grow up. It’s probably the most slept-on soup there is. When I traveled to Boston for work (previous employer) I felt obligated to get a cup of this and it lived up to the hype.

8. Lobster Bisque

Once again, if you don’t like Lobster Bisque you probably order chicken fingers off the kids menu at a steak house.

7. Chicken Dumpling

The better-tasting brother of chicken noodle soup. Dumplings are criminally underutilized in our diets. I honestly don’t even know what a dumpling is but they take me to Flavortown every time I eat them.

Bet you had no idea Patrick Swayze (RIP) had a brother

6. Pho

Vietnamese culture got 2 things right. They know how to make a hell of a soup and they age like fine wine. I used the google machine and it considers pho a soup so I don’t want to hear it.

5. Beer Cheese

Although beer cheese gives me explosive diarrhea, it doesn’t stop me from consuming it. So goddamn good. Real restaurants will serve this with a hot pretzel.

4. Soup Kitchen

Hand up, never had an orgy in a vehicle before but definitely not opposed to participating in one. Although I’d probably go with an SUV rather than a Prius. More room for activities.

3. French Onion

French Onion soup fucks SO HARD. That top layer of cheese, that’s typically a choking hazard, is the bees’ knees! This soup combined with a baguette is the definition of a party in your mouth. Delicioso (Spanish for delicious).

2. Sausage Corn Chowder

Sausage corn chowder soup is a straight 10/10. You may have never heard of or tried it before but now you need to. HOLY FUCK is it tasty. I mean sausage on its own rips but to add it to a soup? Come on!

1. Mommy’s Wild Rice

You know how every single time you look up a recipe online you get like a whole family back story about they make it? Yeah, you won’t get that here but my mommy’s wild rice is to DIE for. It has won awards at the state fair and I legitimately eat a cauldron of it in one sitting. If I were to give away the recipe to the internet I’d be buried in a ditch. For those who have been fortunate enough to have it would attest to my previous statement. It’s to die for.

AUTHORS NOTE: You are HIGH off your ass if you didn’t think I wouldn’t drop a dirty Mike and the boys reference in a soup blog. That’s a layup.