Summer is Dead. The 1 Thing You Must do in Order to Make Summer 2022 the Best Ever.

Food Football Outdoors Uncategorized

Summer is over. I know we will still have days in the low 80s, full of sun, and maybe even a 3-day heatwave but summer is over. The water temperature is dropping and the leaves are changing colors. It is now time for a 6-week stretch I like to refer to as “Securing Fun for Next Summer”.

As a guy who does not have a boat or a cabin, I spent all summer trying to get invites from people fortunate enough to have one or both of those. Let’s just say, it did not go well. But I have formulated a plan which will ensure that I, and most importantly you, will have a standing invitation for every weekend next summer. This blog will feature a step-by-step guide of how you can secure that invite so next year’s summer will be the THICKEST EVER.

Step 1

Reserve a Friday/Saturday from now until the middle of October. Tell your girl that you can go to the apple orchard on a different weekend and explain to her how you are securing the “bag” (aka fun) for next year.

Side Note: There are 3 weekends in a row starting this weekend where the Gophers are playing relatively easy games. These are the prime weekends to take off.

Step 2

Call your buddy who owns the boat or cabin and explain to him/her that you are willing to come up and help them clean up. The cleaning isn’t too tough these days since the hardest things to do are just pulling in the dock or cleaning the boat.

Step 3

Leave on a Friday afternoon but give yourself enough time to stop at Grand Casino. I am a sucker for Lightning Link slots, so lose half a paycheck there and head out to the cabin. Stop and pick up some beers. (a guy who brings beers without being asked to, is a guy who is extended a future invite)

Step 4

Clean, Clean, Clean. Say yes to everything your buddy asks. Spray for bugs? You got it! Chop wood and stack it? Of course! This may seem like a no-brainer but there may be some things you just don’t want to clean. You have to power through and just focus on next summer. For every toilet you clean this weekend, you will have 5 hard seltzers as the sun sets next summer.

Step 5

As the weekend ends casually slip the following into conversation: “Wow this cabin is beautiful! I bet it looks unreal in the summer!” Hopefully, after this statement, your buddy realizes all the hard work that you put in and extends you a future invite. However, don’t be discouraged if that invite doesn’t materialize this weekend. If that happens, just offer your services to put the dock back in next spring and the combo of both weekends will guarantee you an invite. Good luck out there!