Taylor Swift Won’t be at the Game This Sunday Because She’s a Secret Vikings Fan

Entertainment Football NFL Vikings

Swiftie-mania has taken over the NFL in recent weeks, and it’s brought an entirely new demographic of Taylor Swift fans under the shield. Some people think this coverage has already been blown out of proportion, but I say the more the merrier! Do you really have a problem with more football-adjacent discourse in the public sphere? (Please don’t hurt me Swifties, I have a family). However, I think the back-to-back attendance of Travis’ games is going to come to an end for one simple reason: Taylor Swift is a Secret Vikings fan. Sadly, this means we won’t be able to take her out for a fun weekend in the Twin Cities.

The Evidence

“But Adam, she’s a Philly girl through and through! Why would she slum it with a midwestern team like the Vikes?” you might ask. Well think about it, dear reader: why would someone as upstanding and anti-bullying as her align herself with the “Philly Scumbags”? A group of people so proud to be so Mean?

Additionally, Taylor already has a record of showing love for the Twin Cities, as shown by her back-to-back performances at US Bank Stadium this past summer. You think sing Dear John for any ole group of fans? I don’t think so!

And even beyond the geography of it, let’s look at the personalities involved. A tall, kind, role model with outstanding wardrobe and dance moves that will stick in the back of your mind for months after you experience them.

Does that sound like anyone else you can think of?

So if she’s such a big Vikings fan, why would she miss the opportunity to see her favorite team in action?! For love, obviously! Can you imagine the optics if she showed up to her new flame’s game and accidentally started cheering for the other team? Imagine if Jake from State Farm threw a left hand up around Donna Kelce (like he clearly wanted to)?

Conclusion: She’s a Secret Skoldier

Ms. Swift isn’t new to the PR game. Clearly, she’ll be in a palace somewhere, crafting another masterful tune, and throwing up a Skol chant as Kirko and the crew shock the world against her man. Sometimes a healthy relationship involves keeping some things to yourself, and she’s mature enough to know it. Taylor Swift is a Secret Vikings fan, and that’s why she won’t be at the game this Sunday.

Skol Vikes.