NFL helmets are inarguably the best part of the uniform. Sure, jersey’s are cool and can be fun too, but with how bad and boring some have gotten lately the helmet will always be king. In reality, it boils down to the customization of it all. Guys have the ability to throw a visor on and look like a completely different player. There was the golden era where a custom face mask was a statement piece before the No Fun League ruined that too. This year, however, we’re being graced with teams being allowed an alternate helmet if they so choose.Since that news came out, a few teams have already jumped at the opportunity. A fraction of those participating have put out some HEAT that will be fun to see. Unfortunately, there’s more bad than good. These are the 10 worst alternate helmets.
Best of the new NFL Helmets
Without any shadow of a doubt, the Bengals have the best NFL helmet release of all time. White tigers have captivated audiences since they were discovered. Hell, Siegfried & Roy made an entire career of showing these beautiful cats off. The only thing that could make these better are if they’re debuted in a snow-game. Can’t wait to watch Joe Burrow sling it, rocking this dome.The Panthers helmets are something that should have been played with YEARS AGO. Their mascot is a black cat for Christ’s sake! Why they haven’t gone with an all black uniform yet is BEYOND me. Don’t get me wrong, having a consistent, silver bucket for all jerseys is a fine option. This on the other hand, is the FUN option. The crowd loves it, the team loves it, and that’s what we call a win-win.
The Patriots have used their helmet before which is the only reason it’s not number one on the list. It’s a crowd favorite, and for a good reason. Patriot Pat lined up under center is one of the best and most intriguing looks ever printed on a Riddell. Unfortunately, touchdown Tommy will not be making a comeback in these glorious uni’s, but the look is a certified CLASSIC.
10: New York GiantsCall me crazy but this is the single best NFL Helmet to ever come out of New York…even though they play in New Jersey. The caps-lock, underline combo is INFINITELY better than the lower-case “ny” that they’ve (mostly) been rocking for the last couple decades. These should come back full-time, and when they do, lets throw in a red jersey while we’re at it.
9: Atlanta Falcons
Oh, another team from Georgia with a black and red color-scheme running out onto the field with a red helmet. Real original. One thing I will concede is that these helmets simply look fast. Imagine seeing Michael Vick running in game-ending OT touchdowns against the Vikings in THIS. The beauty of it would almost make the pain bearable. ALMOST.
8: Dallas Cowboys
Life imitates art with this helmet choice. The Dallas Cowboys will be nearly indistinguishable from the guards in The Longest Yard. Now, I’m well aware that the Allenville team was made to mimic the Cowboys, but it’s come full circle with Dallas abandoning the silver helmet that’s been their cornerstone and taking on the all white uniform. Unfortunately, the boys will wearing them on Thanksgiving against the Giants, and not against Arizona or Atlanta in their black Jerseys. Now THAT would have been enough to overcome the tryptophan and keep people awake for the game.
7: Arizona Cardinals
Oh, it’s black helmet with a black cage. Cool. Black-on-black will always look good and play well, but man is it boring to look at when everyone else is already doing it too. Everyone knows that black is a slimming color, but word on the street is that Kyler Murray specifically requested it. He probably thinks it’ll make him look taller.
6: Houston Texans
5: Philadelphia Eagles
What the Eagles are doing makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. This is a team that’s already had an all-black uni reveal. Their throwback is kelly green with a full bird on the dome. They’re (allegedly) bringing back the Kelly Green this year, so the fact that they’re not bringing back the iconic bucket is abhorrent. You get NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY SIR!
4: New Orleans Saints
You know what jersey people LOVE from the Saints? The Power Ranger whites. I haven’t read a single negative tweet about them. Not ONE. Do you have any idea how rare that is in the toxic wasteland that is the internet? You know what doesn’t go well with those? This stupid black option. Yes, I understand that they also wear black uniforms and it will go with them, but I hate it. Give the people what they want.
3: Chicago Bears
The equivalent of this eye-sore would be the Seahawks releasing a neon green, highlighter-adjacent lid. Thank whatever god you choose to worship that didn’t happen. Chicago and Seattle each wear their Orange and Green J’s like one time a year and it’s a horrible pain to watch. Now we’re glorifying it and pretending that it’s good? No Thank you. The pantone of the helmet isn’t even the same as the jersey! It’s infuriating. People are saying that Lori Lightfoot implemented stricter enforcement on the curfew so that the Bears could steal this from the University of Illinois easier.
2: New York Jets
Do you remember when the Jaguars released their Gold and Black, two-tone, half gloss, half matte helmets? Unfortunately, I do. While nowhere near that level of incompetence in the design, these still manage to give off the same vibe with the matt helmet and gloss logo. I know the Jets have had it rough since the Sanchise left town and it’s easy to copy teams that are close-by, but maybe aspire to more than the Eagles design and color scheme.
1: Washington Commanders
As the only team with a new logo and “nickname” this season, my expectations were high for the commanders helmets. I should have known that a franchise owned by Dan Snyder (for now) would have found a way to screw it up. Not only did they choose the least exciting possible name of those in the rumor mill this offseason, but their jerseys are hot garbage as well. Take one look and try to tell me that this isn’t a College football team design. Even the mannequins they chose to show them off are undersized slot receivers, at best. They may not be the worst team to take the field this year, but they’ll be rocking the worst NFL helmets.
I’ve been hit by cars three times, which is an indication of how stubborn I am.
I write about everything across the board, but focus on Hockey and the pain that is Minnesota sports.
Argue with me on Twitter: @venividiveech