Alright, now who the hell is your favorite team drafting?
The NFL Draft. This is the one NFL event of the year where all fans come together as one and pray their team doesn’t fuck everything up. It SHOULD be your favorite night in all of sports. Why? Because your favorite NFL team probably sucks. Instead of watching them get their ass kicked every Sunday, this is your night to shine. This is the night that gives you hope. Forget the Christian Ponder’s, Johnny Manziel’s, and Jamarcus Russell’s of the past. Before we get to the actual 10K Mock Draft that you’re guaranteed to love, let us tell you the proper way to celebrate.
Pre-DraftFortunately, the NFL Draft is separated into 3 nights, which gives you maximum potential to get drunk and yell at the TV. Thursday, April 29th is Round 1. Friday, April 30th is Round 2-3. Saturday, May 1st is Round 4-7. Now, we know you all don’t REALLY give that much of a damn about Friday or Saturday, so we will keep our mock draft to Round 1 only. Now, before that Thursday gets here, you and your buddies need to make sure you have a plan. There are only 3 things that really matter when preparing for the draft: location, booze, and food… in that order. It is imperative that you follow these important Draft Day steps.
First order of business is location, which is essential to a great NFL Draft night. This is absolutely not an event you watch at Buffalo Wild Wings or whatever sports bar you hang out at. You need to pick a friend’s place and watch there because you can be as loud and obnoxious as you wish. You also want to be comfortable, and nothing is more comfortable than watching a three hour draft on a comfy couch in front of a 65-inch TV.
BoozeNext, our favorite, the booze. Choosing what alcohol you want to get shitfaced on is incredibly important because this is a marathon, not a sprint. Let’s be real, you’re going to start drinking as soon as you get home from work, so make sure you get something that you can pace yourself with. I’ll never forget the 2015 NFL Draft, I wasn’t prepared at all, so I panicked and grabbed a bottle of Jagermeister and some Red Bull at a shitty liquor store on the way to the set location. I can confirm that drinking Jager Bombs all night is not the play. Before I knew it, I was blackout drunk and puking in my friend’s bathroom by pick 17. Grab some beers, some seltzers, maybe even make a cool punch/wop that is the color of your favorite NFL team. Example: Minnesota Vikings fans – Dennis Green Punch (R.I.P.) 80% vodka, 10% sprite, 10% grape juice, add lots of ice and a few lemons.
Unless you’re capitalizing on 7th Avenue’s BOGO frozen pizza deal, pizza shouldn’t even be an option! Be better! I would highly recommend catering Raisin’ Canes chicken, or maybe even cater in some Mexican food to have your own taco bar. Always have snacks on hand as well. Chips, dips, sausage & cheese platters… these things are essential especially since you likely won’t have the main course until the draft begins. Here is what my buddies and I did last year for the 2020 NFL Draft.Alright, now that we showed you the recipe for success in celebrating the NFL Draft, let’s give the people what they want. I have no doubt you all will agree with every pick in the 1st round and be super thrilled with every selection. Also, this mock doesn’t include trades that haven’t happened yet. Sue me.
1. Jacksonville Jaguars: Trevor Lawrence, QB, Clemson
I’ll send a random 10K follower a free NFL jersey of my choice if Lawrence isn’t the #1 pick. Sunshine from Remember the Titans went back in time (editor’s note: if we’re being pedantic, he went forward in time… Remember the Titans was set in the 70s) and became one of the best prospects these eyes have ever seen. What a time to be a Jags fan. You have the worst record in the NFL and somehow, you get Urban Meyer to come out of retirement and then you grab one of the best quarterback prospects ever because the Jets forgot how to lose. The Jags fans have also already locked in this pick after they just raised like $3K for a charity of Lawrence’s choice as a wedding gift. Lawrence is even tweeting that he’s expecting to be in Jacksonville come next week. Put this pick in stone, tattoo it on your body, buy your customized jerseys now, I don’t care… this is the pick. As a side note, shoutout to the woman who is such a diehard Jags fan she sent Lawrence a $200 butcher block because he’ll “never be on the chopping block”. This is the same woman who conceived her daughter London in the stadium after the Jaguars beat the feathers off the Ravens back in 2017.
2. New York Jets: Zach Wilson, QB, BYU
Adam Gase fucked Jets fans worse than a stepmom on Pornhub. However, not all hope is lost. This kid has some moxy. Has the confidence of Tom Brady, the arm of Baker Mayfield, and the athleticism of Russell Wilson. I absolutely despise the Jets. They are so bad that actually won their way out of getting Trevor Lawrence, which could’ve turned their entire franchise around. Fireman Ed doesn’t even want to be seen at Metlife Stadium anymore. With that being said, Wilson is a great consolation prize. However, I think Zach Wilson should have been ineligible to play this year. As we all know, BYU is a Mormon school and their honor code forbids students from having premarital sex. You’re telling me this kid below who brought two BYU Cougar cheerleaders to prom is a virgin? Get the hell out of here.
3. San Francisco 49ers: Trey Lance, QB, NDSU
The FCS kid from Marshall, Minnesota going number 3? You think that’s surprising? I just found out Lance is/was dating Liv Cowherd (the inexplicably attractive daughter of Colin Cowherd). Just another Minnesota kid doing big things outside of Minnesota. Anyways, the 49ers shocked the NFL world when they traded THREE 1st round picks + a 3rd round pick to move up to 3 in a trade with the Miami Dolphins. Apparently, it is well-believed around the league that they traded up for Mac Jones, whose real name is actually Michael McCorkle Jones (editor’s note: and also a total bitch). I absolutely refuse to believe that Kyle Shanahan is putting his coaching career on the line for a guy named McCorkle. Could it be Justin Fields? Sure. But my guess is Lance. I am so confident in this pick, I’m betting Dev $20 they pick Lance. Lance dominated the FCS with 42 total TD’s and zero interceptions as a Sophomore in 2019. Lance is just the next in line to break Minnesota fans’ hearts by balling out outside of his home state.
4. Atlanta Falcons: Justin Fields, QB, Ohio StateBefore I begin, I can already hear the “Matt Ryan isn’t the problem” crowd. Ryan, who will be 36 next year, lead his team to the 18th best total offense in 2020. They’ve also had 3 straight losing seasons. Move on. Fields grew up in the Atlanta area where he was the highest rated dual-threat quarterback in the nation while in high school. He even played a year at the University of Georgia before transferring out to Buckeye nation because of some…shitty circumstances. Fields belongs back home in Atlanta. Adding Fields’ playmaking ability to an offense already has serious talent with Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley… go ahead and talk dirty (bird) to me. With Fields, the Falcons actually have a chance to regain the NFC South throne in a few years once Brady retires. Until then, Fields at least gives the fanbase hope and a legitimate shot at a wildcard spot.
5. Cincinnati Bengals: Penei Sewell, OT, Oregon
Last year’s #1 overall pick, Joe Burrow, got his knee all fucked up in the second half of the season last year. In what is guaranteed to be a difficult recovery, the Bengals have to look to protect their shiny new QB next year. Penei Sewell is a savage. He’s only 20 years old and he’s been the top offensive tackle since he entered the NCAA. This should be a no brainer. However, we have a bunch of ball-watching fans begging for Ja’Marr Chase to be reunited with Burrow from their record-breaking LSU days. While that would give the entire city of Cincinnati a raging boner, they could find themselves crying themselves to sleep the minute Burrow goes down with another injury because they didn’t protect him. The wide receiver class is far too deep to pass on the best offensive tackle prospect in the class. Look at that big as scar on Burrow’s knee. You think they’re passing on Sewell? Whatever helps you sleep at night. This is almost as big of a lock of the 10K Mock Draft as Lawrence going first overall.
6. Miami Dolphins: Kyle Pitts, TE, Florida
The unicorn. The Miami Dolphins used to have the #3 pick before trading back to #12 with the 49ers. That didn’t last long when they immediately moved back up in a trade to #6 with the Philadelphia Eagles. Wild, I know. You know what else is wild? How fucking big, fast, and talented Kyle Pitts is. Miami already has a good tight end in Mike Gesicki so why take another? The answer is easy. This is the best tight end prospect to ever walk the planet. Miami desperately needs weapons to help Tua’s growth, so why not take the guy who provides the biggest mismatches? Pitts is 6-foot-6, almost 250 lbs, runs a 4.4, and has nearly a 7 foot wingspan. Not to mention the 12 TD’s in 8 games last season. Tell me a pair of linebackers and/or safeties who will be able to cover Pitts AND Gesicki? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Pitts has a serious chance to be the best value pick of the draft.
7. Detroit Lions: Ja’Marr Chase, WR, LSU
The Lions suck peen. They traded away the third best player their franchise has ever had in Matthew Stafford for a couple future 1st round picks and Jared Goff. Is that supposed make the fanbase excited? They also let Kenny Golladay and Marvin Jones walk in free agency. So that leaves them with *checks notes* nobody. Until now. Ja’Marr Chase broke SEC records as a 19 year old kid before taking a year off in the pandemic. He ran a handheld 4.38 40-yd dash at his Pro Day, which is plenty to solidify him as the top receiver taken in the draft. Chase is a game breaking wide receiver who, in my opinion, is one of the best receiving prospects since former Lion, Calvin Johnson. With Ja’Marr Chase and D’Andre Swift in the offense, they might actually be able to score a few points this year, therefore covering some spreads in backdoor fashion (shrug emoji). Vikings fans, don’t read this next sentence. You know last year’s breakout phenom and Philly hater, Justin Jefferson? He was WR2 behind Chase on the record setting 2019 LSU team.
8. Carolina Panthers: Rashawn Slater, OT, Northwestern
Death, Taxes, B1G offensive linemen being studs in the NFL. You want to know who had the best tape of any B1G offensive tackle against Chase Young while he was at Ohio State? The guy in the picture above, Rashawn Slater. Slater is a brick shit-house at nearly 6-foot-4 and over 300 lbs. The Panthers just traded three draft picks for Sam Darnold, which was a great trade, in my opinion. What better way to maximize Darnold’s value than by protecting his blindside. Could they take a receiver here? Hell yeah, and if Pitts or Chase fall, I think they’re the pick. However, since both of those guys are gone, they’ll trust their current receivers and add a stud to the offensive line to help both Darnold and Christian McCaffrey.
9. Denver Broncos: Christian Barmore, IDL, Alabama
REACH!!! It wouldn’t be the NFL Draft without a nice reach in the top 10. That pick that makes you say “Who the fuck?” Then they transition to the live Broncos draft party at some smoke shop in Denver just to see everyone stoned out of their minds and not give a damn. Denver is no stranger to taking defensive linemen early in the draft. Over the last few years, they loaded up on offense and they could take Mac Jones here, but I don’t get that vibe. After they adding a couple corners in Free Agency, I think they roll with Barmore here. Barmore is another brick shit-house in the middle who will help eat up some attention to let Von Miller and Bradley Chubb do their thing. Barmore is also far and away the best interior defensive lineman in the draft.
10. Dallas Cowboys: Jaycee Horn, CB, South Carolina
Jaycee Horn is a bad motherfucker, that’s the only way to put it. The first defensive back off the board and arguably my favorite player in the entire draft. Son of former Saints Pro Bowl receiver, Joe Horn, you can tell that the NFL bloodlines run strong. You tell him to go cover the other team’s #1 receiver, that’s exactly what he’ll go do. The Cowboys have plenty of needs that they could, and should, address but I think getting the best corner in the draft is the route they should go, especially when they only had 10 interceptions all last year, which was 5th worst in the NFL. Pair Horn on the other side from Trevon Diggs and watch the interceptions flow in. In a division where they get to play Daniel Jones, Jalen Hurts, and Ryan Fitzpatrick 6x per year, the Cowboys interception total should easily increase next year.
11. New York Giants: Micah Parsons, LB, Penn State
Micah Parsons certainly falls under the category of “Players I wouldn’t fuck with.” However, we need to talk about Penn State. You would think that the repulsive acts of Jerry Sandusky would straighten out the school. Well, you thought wrong. Parsons and some other players “allegedly” hazed another guy in the shower by wrestling naked, tea-bagging him, and then also pulling a knife on a guy. Not exactly the type of guy I’d want in my locker room, but hey, what do I know? The G-Men have already shown they don’t mind drafting Penn State after taking star running back Saquon Barkley a few years ago. They’ve also shown that they’re willing to gamble on players with off-the-field issues if they think he can produce. If Parsons can keep his hands to himself off the field, the Giants should have a stud linebacker in the middle of their defense.
12. Philadelphia Eagles: DeVonta Smith, WR, Alabama
Eagles fans don’t deserve this. 95% of them are losers and for a player like DeVonta Smith to fall in their lap… it angers me. Philly has drafted 6 wide receivers over the last 4 drafts and they all kind of suck. It’s actually mind-blowing to think this team won a Super Bowl just a couple years ago. With their lack of ability to draft a decent pass-catcher, Smith should absolutely be the pick and it would be nice to see Jalen Hurts get a little bit of help from an old college teammate. The Heisman trophy winner of last year is smoother than KY on glass. He’s a pipe cleaner and kind of looks like E.T. but what can I say, the kid can play. Hopefully Philly’s trend of ruining promising wide receivers ends in 2021.
13. Los Angeles Chargers: Jaylen Waddle, WR, Alabama
Chargers fans sure do talk a lot of shit for only having one win against a team with a winning record last year. That one win? Week 17 against Chad Henne and the Chiefs. You know what though, we are going to let Chargers fans have a win for once and blow their load over Waddle. However, if I have to hear one more Tyreek Hill comparison with the fastest player in the NFL Draft, I’m going to blow a gasket.
Every year I have to read 200+ tweets from “Draft Twitter” about how John Ross was the next Tyreek Hill or Henry Ruggs III was the next Tyreek Hill. Can we just stop disrespecting Jaylen Waddle by comparing him to Tyreek Hill?! Just kidding, kinda. Waddle at least isn’t a known piece of shit. Waddle is a baller and if the Chargers want to keep up with the Chiefs in the AFC West, they are going to need to score more points, seeing that they were in the bottom half of the league in that category.
14. Minnesota Vikings: Patrick Surtain II, CB, Alabama
Vikings fans are sweating like a dyslexic during a countdown waiting for this pick. Shocker, another defensive back for Mike Zimmer, but the one he took in the 1st round last year beats women (allegedly), so his career is done. Zimmer, along with many fans, are going to need to either sit down or waistband it after they make this pick. Like the other cornerback already drafted in Jaycee Horn, Surtain has some NFL bloodlines as well. His pops was a former All-Pro cornerback for the Dolphins and Chiefs. It’s no surprise to anyone that the Vikings would like some help on the offensive line but Surtain is easily the best player available on the board. Since 2019, Surtain has had over 900 snaps in coverage and he’s only allowed 3 TD’s. Vikings fans may hate me when Surtain goes in the top 10 and I’m getting their hopes up, but it’s the NFL Draft and anything can happen. Even well known Crimson Tide hater Dev admits this would be a great fit for the Purple & Gold.
15. New England Patriots: Mac Jones, QB, Alabama
Make that 4 Bama players in a row. Michael McCorkle Jones is the pick here for a couple reasons. Number 1: Cam Newton was dreadful last year. Number 2: This is just the most Patriots thing ever. The hot rumor is that Jones is going #3 to SF but you couldn’t pay me to believe that shit. I mean, outside of a couple DUI’s and an alleged racist photo, (editor’s note: remember when I said he was a bitch?) there’s a lot to like about Jones. He wins games and although that’s not an official QB stat, it matters when drafting a guy. With all of the weapons that the the Patriots have brought in over through Free Agency, he’d have every chance to flourish. Also, we thought Zach Wilson gets the ladies? Mac Jones probably gets more ass than a toilet seat. Check out this vibe below.
16. Arizona Cardinals: Alijah Vera-Tucker, IOL, USC
Boring pick? Yes. Correct pick? Also, yes. Kyler Murray is Kliff Kingsbury’s golden ticket and to hopefully one day cash in that golden ticket, he needs a guy like Vera-Tucker. He can protect Murray and give the Cardinals some life in the run game. If you took away Murray’s rushing stats last year, the Cardinals would’ve ranked 31st in the NFL in rushing, only ahead of the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers’ running back in their last place run game? James Conner. James Conner’s new team, the Arizona Cardinals. The world is a flat circle. I’m sure the coaches don’t want Kyler throwing himself into defenders twice his size, so drafting a versatile offensive lineman like Vera-Tucker should be number one on the priority list. Doesn’t hurt to have a guy to try and block Aaron Donald twice a year as well. Key word, “try.”
17. Las Vegas Raiders: Christian Darrisaw, OT, Virginia Tech
After only one year and an 8-8 record playing in Sin City, the most sinful thing the Raiders have done is ruin this franchise. The great Raiders fans of the world have to watch Mike Mayock and Jon Gruden run this team into the bottom of the earth. The Antonio Brown experiment was a dumpster fire. Mayock drafted Clelin Ferrell (6.5 career sacks) 4th OVERALL in his first draft pick ever. Josh Jacobs is out here getting in car accidents while drunk. Henry Ruggs III is being wasted. He completely purged his entire offensive line, which leads us to Darrisaw. I love this guy and I think this would be the best decision Mayock has made in his career so far. An admittedly very low bar, but still a bar nonetheless. Build that line back up with a stud like Darrisaw to protect Carr. This way, Carr might actually be able to get the ball to his shiny weapons like Waller and Ruggs. WAIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THEY TWEETED THIS… Seriously, fuck this Raiders regime for ruining a storied franchise.
18. Miami Dolphins: Najee Harris, RB, Alabama
Get off the tracks when Harris is coming. He’s an absolute freight train on the football field. With 3,300 total scrimmage yards and 50 touchdowns over the last two years at Alabama, the Dolphins need Harris like I need a beer on a hot summer day (or any day for that matter). Over the last two seasons, the Dolphins’ leading rushers were Myles Gaskin with 584 yards in 2020 and Ryan Fitzpatrick with 243 yards in 2019. Yes, the quarterback, Ryan Fitzpatrick. I don’t always support drafting running backs in the 1st round, but if you need one, and you can get the best one, then just pull the fucking trigger. The Dolphins helped Tua with taking Kyle Pitts earlier at 6 and they help him again by getting his old Bama teammate back in the backfield.
19. Washington Football Team: Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, LB, Notre Dame
Alas, the NFC East Champ. By the way, when are these guys going to get a mascot? The WFT is just ugly. No mascot. The worst color scheme. Making playoffs with a losing record. This team needs a serious makeover. How did they begin that process? Signing Fitzmagic, of course. While that will bring a little bit of excitement to fans, the WFT still sucks ass. To be honest, the only true good thing about the WFT is their defense after drafting Chase Young #2 overall last year. This year, they add another stud in the middle with Owusu-Koramoah. He’s a versatile linebacker and if they can add a guy like him, this team may just make playoffs again with how shitty the NFC East is. If I’m Dak, I’m not rushing to get back so fast after the Giants and WFT add the two best linebackers in the draft.
20. Chicago Bears: Greg Newsome II, CB, Northwestern
Alright Bears fans, put the knives down. You want a quarterback. No, let me correct myself, you NEED a quarterback. I know an offensive lineman is needed. I get it and I feel your pain. Andy Dalton was an appalling signing and it cannot be justified. Kyle Fuller was somehow a cap hit. Please remember, this is a safe space so let it all out. However, with cutting Fuller, there is a massive need in the secondary. You play in a division against Davante Adams, Justin Jefferson, Adam Thielen, and whoever the shitty Lions draft, so a cornerback is a necessity. You’ll love Newsome. He only allowed 1 touchdown in coverage since 2019 and only a 10% completion rate when opposing QBs target his receiver. Newsome is the player you love if he’s on your team and the player you hate if he’s on the other.
21. Indianapolis Colts: Teven Jenkins, OT, Oklahoma State
Meh, I know. The Colts have made some great moves this offseason. I loved the Carson Wentz trade, even if certain other members of 10K did not. Think, Ryan Tannehill. Sometimes you just have to get a change of scenery to succeed and I think Wentz is in a perfect spot to succeed under his old coach, Frank Reich. Plus, they have legit young talent with Jonathan Taylor in the backfield and Pittman at wideout. Jenkins is very good. He’s just your standard Colts player. He’s not the sexy pick, but he’s the right pick. Could they add a wideout or a corner? Sure, they could, but they won’t. The offensive line is far too important to the Colts and putting Jenkins next to the best interior lineman in the league (Quenton Nelson), the Colts will have plenty of time to give Wentz a clean pocket and nice lanes for JT to haul ass through.
22. Tennessee Titans: Caleb Farley, CB, Virginia Tech
The Titans are so fucking fun. Badass coach. Mack truck for a running back. Career revival at quarterback with Tannehill. Top 10 wide receiver in AJ Brown. What’s not to love? I will admit, this pick was so tough. They desperately need some help in the receiving game because as good as Brown is, he can’t do everything. They lost Jonnu Smith to New England, which was a blessing IMO. At the end of the day, they allowed the 4th most yards passing and 2nd most passing touchdowns in the NFL and that was before they released former 1st rounder, Adoree Jackson. They take a gamble on a guy who might’ve been the top cornerback, pre-injury. Farley was a monster in a great Va Tech defense. Plus, I’m not betting against anyone who says this. Game recognizes game.
23. New York Jets: Azeez Ojulari, EDGE, Georgia
Now for the Jets second of their two 1st round picks, Azeez Ojulari. The Jets only averaged 1.9 sacks per game last year, and you wonder why they went 2-14. They were bottom 10 in the NFL in total yards allowed, passing yards allowed, and points allowed. At #2, they got the Heartbreak Kid in Zach Wilson, now they desperately need someone to stop the bleeding on defense. Robert Saleh came in from San Francisco where he’s a notorious defensive guy. After getting Wilson with their first pick, I expect them to load up early and often on the defensive side because my wife’s tampon would be more effective at stopping a nosebleed than this defense.
24. Pittsburgh Steelers: Javonte Williams, RB, UNC
TWO running backs in the 1st round?! Well, have you seen the Steelers run game? They were dead last in the NFL in rushing last season and they lost their lead back in James Conner. Do I need to go on? The Steelers let Le’Veon Bell walk a few years ago and it has bit them in the ass each year since. The Steelers had the most pass attempts in the NFL last season and I can’t say I blame them but Ben Roethlisberger’s arm is about to turn to dust with another season like that. Javonte Williams was part of a two-headed monster run game at UNC. Remember the old Madden games with the “Truck Stick” function? Yeah, that’s basically Javonte Williams. Perfect fit for what the Steel City needs. Let me introduce one of the best runs in football last year.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars: Alex Leatherwood, OT, Alabama
I previously had safety, Trevon Moehrig here, but I just can’t do it. He’s not worthy. Which really means nothing because the Jaguars are dipshits anyways. If the Jaguars had any brains at all, they wouldn’t have traded away former 3rd round safety, Ronnie Harrison, for a bag of chips to the Cleveland Browns. They don’t trade Harrison, then they aren’t in a need for a safety. Instead, it makes far more sense to draft some protection for your new king, Trevor Lawrence. Drafting a guy who can play every position on the offensive line is a great way to build the trenches, especially when that guy is a two-time National Champion and unanimous All-American like Leatherwood.
26. Cleveland Browns: Jamin Davis, LB, Kentucky
Congratulations, Browns fans. You’re no longer the embarrassment of the NFL. You have a playoff roster, you just added another freak pass rusher to go opposite of Myles Garrett, and you get an elite wideout back in Odell Beckham Jr. Therefore, with this pick, you get to have a little fun. Jamin Davis was a guy that was a late-round prospect (at best) coming into the year. Now, he’s the biggest riser in the entire draft. He’s as big as an edge rusher, but he runs like a defensive back. He’s a perfect piece of the puzzle for a defense that needs to find a way to stop and/or spy Lamar Jackson twice per season.
27. Baltimore Ravens: Jaelan Phillips, EDGE, Miami
How is it, that every fucking year, this happens to the Ravens? Every year we all sit back and watch a player fall and fall and fall, right into their laps. The Ravens then draft a stud and we all tweet the same shit, “The rich get richer.” That’s exactly what will happen if the best pass rusher in the draft falls to them. Well you may be asking, “if he’s the best, then why would he fall?” I’m glad you asked. Sounds like a lot of people are concerned with his injury/concussion history, and with that, some teams may shy away from him. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure and Phillips can be a treasure chest full of gold for the Ravens. Back to back drafts with Patrick Queen and Jaelan Phillips. Just not fair.
28. New Orleans Saints: Elijah Moore, WR, Ole Miss
Drew Brees rode off in the sunset, leaving the Saints with Jameis Winston and tight end, Taysom Hill, at the quarterback position. Trust me, if one of the top 5 quarterbacks fell to this point, I’d mock them here. Since they didn’t, I mocked a wide receiver with a dynamic route tree. Moore is more than someone who can only run slants *cough, Michael Thomas, cough.* Regardless of which terrible quarterback the Saints toss in there, at least they’ll be blessed with some ridiculous weapons in Kamara, Slant-Boy, and now Moore. It’s obvious that the Saints need help at receiver so all they need to do is go 5 hours straight north to find their answer. If they don’t, it’s because Sean Payton is a fucking bum, that’s why.
29. Green Bay Packers: Landon Dickerson, IOL, Alabama
I know Packers fans are going to hate me for this. I’m fully aware the desire for a shiny new weapon for the reigning MVP, Aaron Rodgers. However, your offensive line is more beat up than Lisa Ann’s pu….. nevermind. You get the point. The Pack also lost Corey Linsley in Free Agency, so why not replace him with the best center in the draft? If not for Dickerson’s injury, I truly think he’d be a lock for the top 15. Giving Rodgers as much protection as possible should always be the priority because, as we’ve seen, Rodgers can make anyone look good. Another reason that I don’t want to mock an offensive skill player here, is because they lost all trust in drafting them after the shit they pulled last year by taking Jordan Love, AJ Dillon, and Josiah Deguara in the first 3 rounds. They’ve always drafted well on the offensive line, so here’s another to keep Rodgers clean in the pocket all season long.
30. Buffalo Bills: Kwity Paye, EDGE, Michigan
No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. I am going to have my crow served ice cold for how I reacted to the Stefon Diggs trade. I won’t lie, I ripped them apart for it, mainly because it came right around the Hopkins trade when Arizona got him for a 2nd. When the Bills gave up a 1st for Diggs, I thought they were braindead, but I was the idiot. Allen to Diggs is frightening. There aren’t a ton of holes on the Bills team, except for a great pass rusher. That’s why I have them taking Paye. Paye is projected by the “experts” to go much higher but I think this is even too high for him. He’s incredibly overrated IMO and there was never much production with only 11.5 sacks in his four years at Michigan. If we are being honest, he wasn’t even the best pass rusher on his own team last year. This is a pick of need, but I think some will look back and be calling Paye a bust in a couple years. Either way, I’m glad I won’t have to deal with Etienne in that offense.
31. Baltimore Ravens: Rashod Bateman, WR, Minnesota
The trade for Orlando Brown Jr. changes nothing in this slot. Last year, Minnesota’s best NFL prospect, Antoine Winfield Jr., fell in the draft and became an absolute stud for the Super Bowl Champion, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Bateman could have similar success. He’s a phenomenal talent. Giving Lamar Jackson another big weapon in the passing game is only going to make that offense more deadly. Having to defend Lamar’s running ability, while also stopping Hollywood, Andrews, and Bateman in the passing game sounds like a fucking migraine. I felt a bit bamboozled by seeing Bateman was only 6-foot-0 at his weigh-in but whatever. Make sure you pick him up in fantasy because that connection is going to be unstoppable.
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Joe Tryon, EDGE, Washington
WHO?! Yeah, I know. This may come as a surprise to most but Tryon is a wrecking machine. Before opting out in 2020, he was coming off of an 8-sack and 12.5 tackles for loss season as a sophomore. He’s the exact opposite of a guy you’d want to see coming off the edge if you’re a quarterback. He’s raw but teams love that shit when it comes to big, athletic pass rushers. Brady made chicken salad out of chicken shit and brought Tampa home a championship. The craziest part is that they’re basically returning everyone so adding another guy for that defense is just another reason to think they’re the team to beat in the NFC.
This is you and the crew when Roger Goodell says, “Jacksonville is now on the clock.” We hope you enjoyed the 2021 10K Takes NFL Mock Draft and make sure you also follow 3rd & Forever and listen to the 3rd & Forever Podcast for some great NFL content leading up to the Draft and the 2021 NFL season. If you don’t like the picks, well then too damn bad. Make your own mock at The Draft Network using their Mock Machine and see if you can do any better. Enjoy the draft and don’t forget the 3 key essentials…. Location, Booze, Food.