What the fuck are the Chicago Bears doing?
After going 8-8 last year and somehow sneaking into the NFL Playoffs, you’d think that the Chicago Bears may be on the rise. Well, you’re wrong. Making the playoffs with the likes of Mitchell Trubisky and Nick Foles is pretty impressive because they’re both terrible. Once their season ended in an ass-whooping loss to the New Orleans Saints in the playoffs, you knew they were going to clean house a little bit. At least we thought. The offseason is in full swing.
This is just the Beginning…
After back to back 8-8 seasons and being lamentably pathetic on offense, General Manager Ryan Pace and Head Coach Matt Nagy have to lose their jobs, right?! Wrong again, motherfucker. Both Pace and Nagy stay put. The ONLY positive thing to come out of this Bears offseason has been the departure of Mitchell Trubisky. What about star Wide Receiver, Allen Robinson? Instead of paying him a contract that he deserves, they use the franchise tag on him which gives him $18M this season alone. Somewhere along the chaos and disarray, they released their All-Pro cornerback, Kyle Fuller. Fucking idiots. If that wasn’t bad enough, their Pro Bowl defensive star, Akiem Hicks wants out as well.Despite all of that, there were rumors that the Bears made a huge push for Russell Wilson. Supposedly, the Bears offered the Seahawks THREE 1st-Round picks, a 2021 3rd-Round pick, and two starters. The Seahawks said fuck that and declined. Even though it was declined, at least the Bears made a push for an elite quarterback! Maybe they’ll go make an offer for Deshaun Watson next, right?! Right?! WRONG AGAIN. Instead, just when you thought Pace and Nagy couldn’t be worse at their jobs, they do the unthinkable. Two sad words…. Andy Dalton.
The Chicago Bears Dumpster Fire: Same Shit, Different Year
Out goes Trubisky, in comes Andy Dalton. The Red Rifle is heading to the Windy City. The same Andy Dalton that went 4-5 with the Cowboys last year and couldn’t lead them to a NFC East title. I feel terrible for Bears fans. They’re all so dedicated and committed to the team and they find themselves in a situation like this every year. When was the last good quarterback that the Bears had? Smokin’ Jay Cutler? I mean for fuck sake, give the fanbase some hope! The worst part of being 8-8 and making the playoffs is you don’t even get a high draft pick. Now, they have the 20th pick and that makes it almost impossible to go up and get one of the top quarterbacks in the draft. That’s okay though because they have Andy fucking Dalton! If Bears fans want to take this year off, I won’t blame them.But hey, at least it’s a guaranteed 2 wins each for Vikings and Packers fans! (4 if you count the Lions, because…y’know… the Lions)
Chicago Bears Dumpster Fire Chicago Bears Dumpster Fire