Power Ranking All 122 “Big 4” Minnesota Athletes

Power Rankings

There’s no football on, the NHL and NBA are done, and all we have left to watch is meaningless MLB games. You know what that means: it’s power ranking season. Today we’re taking on the daunting task of power ranking all 122 “Big 4” Minnesota athletes.

I plugged all 122 players currently on the Twins, Timberwolves, Vikings, & Wild into my newly developed algorithm to see where they all match up with one another and to find out who’s the most valuable athlete in Minnesota. The criteria is simple: the better player you are, the higher you rank on the list. The worse you are, the lower you are on the list.

I had to cut the Vikings roster as close to a 53-man as I could, so only the top two players at each position on the depth chart are included here. The Twins 26-man roster gets a little messy with player movement and injuries, so there’s a few extra guys included in addition to the 26. The full rosters for the Wild and Wolves are included as of June 30, but we’ll see how that holds up after NHL & NBA free agency.

Remember, this is a list based on computer analytics alone with zero input from my own personal biases. Absolutely zero. That being said, if I could’ve put Max Kepler and KAT at 121 & 122 respectively, I would’ve.

Okay, here we go:

122. Matt Ryan

Gotta be honest here, I had no fucking clue this guy even existed. Not a chance he’d be last on this list if he played for the Vikings with a name like that.

121. Troy Reeder

120. Wendell Moore Jr.

119. Benton Whitely

118. Leonard Miller

117. Brent Headrick

116. Brandon Powell

115. Josh Minott

114. Jack Podlesny

113. Williams Kwenkeu

112. Jaylen Clark

111. Kenta Maeda

I know he’s been good in the past and has battled injuries lately, but dear God is he bad right now.

110. James Lynch

109. Austin Schlottmann

108. T.J. Smith

107. Chris Reed

106. Nathan Knight

105. Zach Ojile

104. Josh Oliver

103. Jose Miranda

102. Mekhi Blackmon

101. Alex Goligoski

Enough With The Scrubs, Onto The Top 100 Minnesota Athletes

100. Austin Rivers

99. John Klingberg

98. DeWayne McBride

97. Edouard Julien

96. Nickeil Alexander-Walker

95. Trevor Larnach

94. Josh Metellus

93. Luka Garza

These are the eyebrows of a man who’s about to wreck shit next year. Had to crack the top 100 based on his 9 years at Iowa alone.

92. D.J. Wonnum

91. Max Kepler

90. Ty Chandler

89. Nick Mullens

88. Blake Brandel

87. Johnny Mundt

86. Calen Addison

85. Lewis Cine

84. Harrison Phillips

83. Connor Dewar

82. Mason Shaw

It was inevitable these two beauties were going to be right next to each other. Hopefully Shaw’s knee comes back from the dead before the end of next season.

81. Griffin Jax

80. Ryan Reaves

79. Akayleb Evans

78. Jon Merrill

77. Emilio Pagan

76. Jake Middleton

75. Dean Lowry

74. Jorge Lopez

73. Jalen Nailor

72. Jorge Polanco

71. Olisaemeka Udoh

70. Oskar Sundqvist

69. Jalen Reagor, nice

With an ass like his, it only makes sense that he was #69. Guy is so thick he got his own coach fully horned-up in front of the media.

68. Kene Nwangwu

67. Ryan Jeffers

66. Jordan Addison

65. Brandon Duhaime

64. Marcus Davenport

63. Ed Ingram

62. Willi Castro

We Have Now Reached The The Halfway Point

61. Sam Steel

60. Pablo Lopez

59. Brock Stewart

58. Marc Andre-Fleury

57. Ryan Wright

56. Alex Kirilloff

55. Ryan Hartman

54. Byron Murphy Jr.

53. Jordan McLaughlin

52. Donovan Solano

51. Greg Joseph

I know being high on a Vikings kicker never ends well, but this dude nailed some huge game-winners last year. You could argue he should be higher on the list, but then again, he’s a kicker for the Vikings.

The Top 50

Congrats to these individuals for making into the prestigious Top 50 list.

50. Royce Lewis

49. Jaylen Nowell

48. Gustav Nyquist

47. Garrett Bradbury

46. Christian Vazquez

45. Michael Taylor

44. Khyiris Tonga

43. Freddy Gaudreau

42. Bailey Ober

41. Marcus Johannsen

JOJO kept the Wild offense rolling throughout the second half of the season last year. All credit to Billy G for picking him up at the deadline and re-signing him for the next two years.

40. Cam Bynum

39. Matt Dumba

38. Mike Conley

37. Ezra Cleveland

36. Sonny Gray

35. Marcus Foligno

34. Kyle Farmer

33. Matz Zuccarello

32. Jordan Hicks

31. Andrew Booth Jr.

30. Marcus Davenport

29. Joey Gallo

28. Brock Faber

27. Brian Asamoah II

26. Johan Duran

25. Joe Ryan

This guy is DEALING right now. The muzzy & hair combo he’s got going is great for the brand too. Hopefully this doesn’t jinx him and he climbs up the list by the end of the season.

24. Filip Gustavsson

23. Alexander Mattison

22. Kyle Anderson

21. Jared Spurgeon

20. Brian O’Neill

19. Andrew DePaola

18. Naz Reid

Naz Reid.

17. C.J. Ham

16. Harrison Smith

15. Danielle Hunter

14. Jonas Brodin

13. Jaden McDaniels

12. T.J. Hockenson

11. Karl Anthony-Towns

Does anybody in Minnesota like KAT? Absolute clown show. Hopefully he’s not on the roster by the time this gets posted.

The Top 10 Minnesota Athletes

10. Kirk Cousins

Say what you will about Kirk, but this guys deserves to be in the top 10 at the very least. He’s going to own every Vikings passing record by the time he’s done here. So what if he can’t win the big games. No one in Minnesota can.

9. Byron Buxton

8. Matt Boldy

7. Rudy Gobert

6. Joel Eriksson-Ek

Look at this fucking goober. The most underrated player in Minnesota by a country mile. Our sweet prince. If you need any further proof look at how the Wild went from absolutely humming to ousted in the first round after JEE went down.

5. Carlos Correa

4. Christian Darrisaw

3. Anthony Edwards

These top three guys are the future of Minnesota sports as a whole. Ant is far too good to be on the Timberwolves. Michael Jordan Jr. I hope he stays here forever.

2. Kirill Kaprizov

The chosen one. Our sweet boy. Our Soviet Savior. This guy may single-handedly bring a Stanley Cup to the state of Minnesota one day. Easily the best hockey player in Wild franchise history. He can do no wrong.

1. Justin Jefferson

It had to be JJ, right? The catch against the Bills puts him in the Top 10 alone. Then you add the fact he’s broken basically every receiving record for a guy in his first 3 years and it’s a no-brainer. Pay this man his money. Give him literally whatever he wants next offseason and keep him happy for as long as you can.

That’s it, that’s the 100% accurate list according to the algorithm. I’m sure there will be no disagreements over it. Take up any conflicts with the computer.

Who’s too high? Who’s too low? Hit me up, let’s duke it out.