The Loons Just Confirmed What We Already Knew: Minnesota Sports are CURSED!


Minnesota sports fans that got interested in soccer, got disappointment. We got the miracle showing by beating Kansas City last week, and then we ABSOLUTELY CHOCKED against Seattle. The Loons had a 1-0 lead at halftime and then answered shortly after halftime in the 66′ minute to make it 2-0. You could see the excitement of Minnesota fans all over social media as the clock kept ticking, it looked like a sure win…

Then Seattle scored at the 75′ minute which gave Minnesota fans a feeling of dread. We all knew what was coming.

Seattle scored in the 89′ minute and then again in the 3 minutes of extra time allocated to take home the win and leave Minnesota sports fans devastated. I haven’t seen a choke job like this since I was watching Riley Reid a few weeks ago. THEY WERE MINUTES AWAY FROM ADVANCING TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Really, Minnesota… if you don’t start playing together and winning together Michelob ULTRA prices are going to go through the roof. I have to drink every time to live with the failure of Minnesota collegiate and professional sports teams.

Really Loons… Don’t be like the others…

When the hell will we get a championship in Minnesota. This game was the soccer version of the “Minneapolis Miracle” that the Minnesota Vikings were able to pull off on January 14, 2018… most soccer teams are lucky to even score 3 goals in a game, let alone score 3 goals in 15 minutes to overcome a 2-0 deficit and advance to the finals.

Where Do Minnesota Sports Go From Here?

Where do we go from here, is it up or is it down? To be honest I am not sure we will ever be up. Minnesota sports really suck, but here are some things to look forward to.:

  • PJ Fleck and the Gopher football team pretending to have Covid cases so they don’t get their asses beat.
  • Ricky Rubio returning and looking like a turd running around the court
  • Maybe the Gopher men’s hockey and women’s teams. I hate saying this but women’s hockey sucks to watch at the high school level but the college level is a lot better and very entertaining! All these ladies skating around and having a nice grip on the stick, and they actually make it to a championship.