THE TYSON-JONES CARD WAS BAD AND I AM ANGRY

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Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Coleman, stop being a Boomer! That was one of the most hyped boxing cards of the last few years! Iron Mike and Captain Hook are back! It had well over a million PPV buys! That Youtube douchebag’s brother KO’d Nate Robinson! Snoop was high on live TV! (like that isn’t a regular occurrence)” To that I, a scholar and life-long fan of the sport say:

This whole thing was a circus. I want my four hours back. The rap performances between every fight were overkill (big Snoop fan tho). The preview fight on Youtube before the card even started was better than every other fight on the card. The two main fights were garbage. I give Tyson and Jones credit for getting in shape, but the BS rules and both men being in their 50’s made this ridiculous. The nostalgia was cool I guess, but that doesn’t make the fight itself good. They both shouldn’t fight again outside of events like this. And don’t even get me started on the co-main…

This dickhead is somehow being taken seriously as a fighter…

I could have missed TikTok Draco Malfoy dusting a guy who was 4 inches shorter, over 10 years older, who also had no experience and been perfectly happy. It’s not often I say this about professional athletes, but (almost) anyone at 10k could have done better than Robinson in that fight. He was clearly too small and inexperienced to have been in that fight. The fact that people took this fight seriously and now think that sociopath can fight anyone besides no-name Youtubers and washed up athletes with no business in the ring is asinine. I mean, he called out Conor McGregor and Dillon Danis. McGregor, an elite MMA striker, and former amateur boxing champion, obviously murders him. No commission in their right mind would allow that fight regardless of a 4 inch and 20+ pound difference.

And for those of you who don’t know about Dillon Danis (other than Khabib trying to beat his ass after he beat Conor), he’s a BJJ coach for McGregor and pro-MMA fighter. Now, he’s not a world-class striker. In fact, he’s pretty subpar for a professional fighter, and I personally think he’s a scrub on the feet. But he’s been training with Conor in striking for a while and is undefeated in MMA with Bellator.

Jake Paul is a social media dickhead that thinks he’s a tough guy after training for a few months and beating two guys with less experience than him. He has no business in the ring being promoted as a real fighter and shame on the “experts” and greedy assholes that think otherwise.

I’m @ing you DC (with love, you’re a great fighter, don’t hurt me). Now I shouldn’t have to spend this much time on this platinum-blonde COVID-denying airhead. I shouldn’t have to roast this circus at all. Sadly, THE IDIOTS AT “REAL” SPORTS NETWORKS PROMOTE THIS GARBAGE AS LEGIT (@ing you again DC, stop capping for the coverage). Several of the top P4P boxers in the world are fighting within the next month. Yet, they get almost no coverage, but this shit gets 24/7 attention. Now, I don’t blame Tyson and Jones for this in the least. They made some solid money and donated to charity in the middle of a pandemic.

Bob Arum and Al Haymon are ruining the sport.

It comes down to clickbait journalists at the big “sports” companies and the gremlin promoters like Bob Arum and Al Haymon. They’re incapable of working together and making good fights. They’re more concerned about their cash cows not taking Ls than making competitive fights. They then have the GODDAMN AUDACITY to complain when ratings are terrible and that they’ve “lost money” promoting their best fighters. Bob Arum: How the FUCK do you lose money promoting four of the top six P4P fighters in the world? If you’re not gonna make good fights, then retire, buy your house in Beverly Hills with the money you’d lose on Terence Crawford, and fuck off. If you won’t take my word for it, here’s Uncle Dana:

Somehow, it’s on an upstart Minnesota-based blog of Kirk Cousins impersonators and a sentient law-practicing beer can to try to hold the big guys accountable. For those of you that care, Errol Spence Jr., a consensus top 2 welterweight, and highly-ranked rival Danny Garcia fight this weekend. However, there may not be enough Snoop Dogg or C-list celebrities on the card for it to matter. And people wonder why boxing is dying and MMA is dancing on its grave…