With the NFL season quickly approaching, it’s time for my annual hike to Diamond Jo’s Casino to place my futures for the upcoming NFL season. The last time I was there was late March when I placed all these MLB Futures.
If you spent the time reading my MLB futures you would know 5/6 division picks were thrown in the garbage months ago. The good news? Our one winner is the one that will matter. The Minnesota Twins (+200).
It’s going to be extremely hard for me to do worse this NFL season than I did in baseball. Buttttttt when it comes to gambling, I wouldn’t put anything past me. Tail at your own risk, or fade and increase your odds by a lot. Here are all my division winners + future bets for this upcoming season.
AFC East
- Buffalo Bills +120
- New York Jets +250
- Miami Dolphins +290
- New England Patriots +800
Starting off we have the loaded AFC East. To be honest, I have no idea who to pick, this division is that big of a question mark. Josh Allen and the Bills have the best odds to win the division, with the Patriots being the long shot to win the division.
My gut tells me the Bills will struggle this year, leaving the division up for grabs. Would you call me stupid if I said the Patriots will have a better year than the Dolphins? I see it happening but neither will win the division, leaving us with the Bills and…… Aaron Rodgers and the Jets.
I’m going to ride with the rest of the world and buy in that Rodgers will play like the MVP caliber QB he was in Green Bay to win the division in his first year. Watch out for that defense… they are loaded.
My Pick: Jets +250
AFC North
- Cincinnati Bengals +150
- Baltimore Ravens +210
- Cleveland Browns +400
- Pittsburgh Steelers +470
Welcome to the AFC North. You might hear me say this a lot for this blog but anyone could win this division. To start, I’ll let you know the Bengals will NOT be my pick. It’s too obvious and I just don’t like cheering for them. That leaves us with three teams. LJ and the Ravens, the Browns and that massage freak Deshaun Watson… OR the Steelers a.k.a my homer pick just because I love Kenny Pickett, Najee Harris and George Pickens so much.
Yeah, this is hard but this blog can’t go on all day. I’m riding with the Steelers just based on this.
- The Browns have a chance to be GOOD this year, but you can’t cheer for that creepo Deshaun Watson. ELIMINATED
- Three minutes ago I was typing out that the Ravens are the division winner. The safest play is right here… but I’m living life on the edge.
- Fuck The Bengals.
My Pick: Steelers +470
AFC South
- Jacksonville Jaguars -155
- Tennessee Titans +310
- Indianapolis Colts +550
- Houston Texans +1000
This division might be worse than the AL Central was this year. Fucking disgusting.
The Jaguars should/better win this division with ease. But with those odds, I will NOT be taking them and will rather be looking for an opportunity to hedge early on in the season. So, the Titans are the pick. No faith in the Colts even though I love AR15. The Texans’ odds enticed me for about 3 seconds before I remembered who they were. And with that that’s all the time I’m spending on the WORST DIVISION IN THE NFL!
Go D-HOP and King Henry!
My Pick: Titans +310… hedging the first chance I get with the Jags.
AFC West
- Kansas City Chiefs -180
- Los Angeles Chargers +300
- Denver Broncos +600
- Las Vegas Raiders +1700
Is this easily the most exciting NFL division? When you have Patrick Mahomes, Justin Herbert, Russel Wilson AND Jimmy G (HAHA) leading your teams it’s hard to not think that.
I’m not doubting the Chiefs at all when I say this but I think they slow down a bit this year. Will it be from injuries or just bad play? That’s the question but I think Justin Herbert finally takes the division from Mahomes for the first time just to probably lose to him in the playoffs.
For the other two teams could they ever compete with the Chargers & Chiefs this year? The answer is yes and no. Compete? Yes. Win? No. Sean Payton will win coach of the year with ease if they win the division so you might as well take him at +1400 to do so instead. The Raiders will compete all year just to lose close games while Adams puts up 150 every game.
If the right price comes I may look to hedge but the Chargers are my pick.
My Pick: Los Angeles Chargers +300
NFC East
- Philadelphia Eagles -115
- Dallas Cowboys +175
- New York Giants +700
- Washington Commanders +1300
I’m going to lose so much money betting on these… unless I don’t? This division might look tough on paper but I think the oddsmakers are overlooking the Giants WAY too much. The Eagles are the obvious choice and they’re only getting better with a strong offseason after losing in the Super Bowl last year. But just like the divisions above, I will not be laying money on a division winner unless they are + money… the hedge opportunity will come during the season but unlike the AFC south I will not be hedging the Giants as my pick this year.
Coming off a playoff win against some purple looking team last year I think Daniel Jones will continue to get better. Darren Waller is going to open up this offense even more and with all eyes on the Cowboys and Eagles, I think the Giants get overlooked throughout the year. Too much faith in the Giants? We’ll find out week one when they face off against the Cowboys.
My Pick: New York Giants +700
NFC North
- Detroit Lions +145
- Minnesota Vikings +260
- Green Bay Packers +350
- Chicago Bears +430
Another division I’m not gonna spend too much time on because well??? Who do you expect me to take? You guessed it! The VIKINGS!
From a non-biased standpoint, this would still easily be my pick with the Bears being the team in the back of my head to worry about. (Pathetic I know). The Lions being that big of favorites is disrespectful and there are no words to say for the Packers other than FUCK THE PACKERS!
So, just like the AL Central this year, this is my favorite play.
My Pick: Minnesota Vikings +260
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NFC South
- New Orleans Saints +130
- Atlanta Falcons +210
- Carolina Panthers +360
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers +750
Second most disgusting division in the NFL behind the AFC South. So bad I’m taking my first division favorite of the day in the Saints @ +130… If there’s going to be a division winner with a sub 500 record this is the division to find it. The Falcons are the only real threat here and that’s IF the Saints pan out to be dog shit. They could go 13-4 this year and I still wouldn’t have confidence in them come playoffs… (like Vegas with the Vikings last year). Boring division who has already wasted to much of my day.
My Pick: New Orleans Saints +130… By a lot?
(Kinda forgot Derek Carr was there QB till right now… 99% Winning the NFC South)
NFC West
- San Francisco 49ers -165
- Seattle Seahawks +200
- Los Angeles Rams +1000
- Arizona Cardinals +2700
I saved the biggest mind fuck for last because I’m stuck on this division. Absolutely no value laying that # with the 49ers… But I can’t find the confidence to lay the Seahawks +200. I’m honestly leaning toward a small bet on the Rams or just not betting it at all. The Seahawks should continue to be good but could last year have been a huge fluke for Geno Smith? Could he return to his normal self this upcoming year? Too many question marks which has resulted in me picking the 49ers but will more than likely not lay that number when I hit the counter at Diamond Jo’s.
My Pick: San Francisco 49ers -165
Winners Or Losers?
Six months from now will I be walking back into Diamond Jo’s with winning betting slips from this upcoming NFL season? Probably not because I suck at betting, hence why I’m going to go 1/6 in my MLB picks for -4 units. Like I said it’s going to be really hard to get worse than my MLB bets… but never put anything past me.
Good luck if you ride my pick! And if you smartly have listened to my bio, I hope you lose every bet if you fade me.
Best of luck gambling this NFL season you degenerates. ALWAYS GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY!
Some people call me MarTy and some people call me Ryan. Wildcard when it comes to my writing. #FadeMe if I ever tweet out “locks”.