This Lockdown Is Brought To You By Michelob Ultra

Booze Everything Else

Quarantine is upon us in Minnesota once again. Thanks a lot, Governor Walz. Why can’t you just leave this state open and keep the craziness out of Hudson? We have people getting stabbed, we have people taking over the gyms, why doesn’t Hudson just become a part of Minnesota at this point?

Well, there is something called Michelob Ultra. This superior beer can give you the effects from the 4.2 ABV to stay home after a few, the 95 calories and 2.6 carbs will keep you away from the gym and keep your weight down, or we think so.

Ultra is a superior beer that is just like drinking Gatorade, it’s just like every other beer (water) to be exact. People ask, what does Ultra give us? It brings us hot chicks at the baseball games or a pack of moms downtown trying to have a good time. What else do we need?

Stay the fuck home Minnesota and drink Ultra. If you drink Ultra YOU will get a girl like this:

Another thing that is big in this lockdown is called the “Covid 15”, similar to the freshmen 15, this is where all those college fucks drink and eat as much as possible and gain 15+ pounds. I think they should be introduced to a thing called keto. This is a high fat, adequate-protein, and low carb diet, you can obtain many health benefits from this including drinking as much Ultra as you want until you pass the fuck out. Maybe skip the chicken wings, pizza, and ice cream; sit-back enjoy a couple of Ultras. After you do that, you can sit back and watch the chicks appear out of nowhere.

It’s the Ultra that makes the girls go crazy.