This Winter Can Fuck Right Off

Everything Else Outdoors

Make up your mind Mother Nature. Typical woman (this is a joke of course. Unless it’s not, but definitely a joke). Are we gonna have a winter in Minnesota? One week we get 40 and sunny and the next get tea bagged by 10 below. No sun for days. Then next week it’s supposed to be in the thirties again. All while having basically zero snow. This winter can fuck right off. I feel like I’m Michael Scott getting a vasectomy over here.

What Do You Expect Me To Do?

Boy, dry January couldn’t have come at a worse time. What does one do during these miserable months?

Ice Fishing? Not So Fast!

Lakes haven’t had enough ice to even walk on let alone drive out on. And on top of it, I’m one of those suckers with an Ice Castle. I sat in it the other week in my driveway and just pretended I was out on the lake rippin’ lips and darts. It’s by far my favorite thing to do in the winter. Yes, it’s sitting and drinking and it sounds fantastic. But Mother Nature has robbed me of this. So ice fishing is out. For now…

Skiing or Snowboarding? C’mon.

It seems like the ski hills have been able to make a decent amount of snow but I’m still not biting. I went skiing on an 8th grade field trip to Hyland back in the day. Fell no less than 20 times and my legs hurt worse the next day than when I had to run the mile in gym class in what I’m pretty sure was 8th grade as well. Tough year for husky Renz. (Chicken tenders at any ski chalet absolutely rip though)

These are what get you through a day at the ski hill

Ice Skating? I Wish.

I may be the only 10k member that doesn’t know how to skate. But up until this weekend, we didn’t really have any rinks to use. And now that it’s so balls cold I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. It’s kind of the same story as the skiing thing. Went once and fell a bunch. Not falling for that again.

Just Bring On Spring

Next weekend it’s almost 40 degrees. So you basically have this weekend to enjoy any winter activities you wanna do. Except for the one that requires snow. Shit out of luck there. If it’s gonna be shitty out, let us enjoy all our activities. This winter can fuck right off. Please Mother Nature, give us a decent couple months of Winter. Or let’s just move along to spring. Drinking outside, not having to wear pants everywhere, crocs to the grocery store. That’s what I’m looking forward to.

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