THE NFL IS BACK! Last Thursday we saw the Lions take down the Chiefs 21-20 thanks to Kadarius Tony being a complete fucking DITZO. Thursday we have a more critical TNF game than usual, when the Vikings head into scumbag Philly to take on the dirtbag Eagles.
Before we head into week two’s best bets let’s go over how we did last week.
UNDERDOG PICKS
Good thing I used CODE 10K when depositing this past week on UNDERDOG, because boy oh boy I got smoked. Sometimes you swing and miss.
Underdog Record 2023: 0-2
Last Weeks Bets
1. Patrick Mahomes Under 3.5 Rushing Attempts +110 (1U) & Under 18.5 Rushing Yards +100 (1U)
What a dogshit-ass bet this was. Both of these bets were toast by halfway through the 2nd quarter.
Not a good start to the 2023 TNF Betting Season.
2. First Score FG +170 (1U) & First Turnover Fumble +155 (1U)
Everyone knows these are my two favorite bets, and I promise I won’t let you forget. All you need is 1 of the 2 to hit, and that’s exactly what we got last week.
First Score FG
We needed ONE stop on 3rd down to cash this bet. Instead, we got this.
First Turnover Fumble
This is when the pressure starts to come in. 0-1 and NEED the other bet. Thankfully Marvin Jones came through for the best bet of all time.
Last year we started like SHIT on these bets. It was so bad that I canceled betting them every week halfway through the year. 1-1 is a winning week with these two bets.
1. Isiah Pacheco O49.5 Rushing Yards -110 (1U) & Jerick Mckinnon U16.5 Rushing Yards -115 (1U)
Talk about the tale of two bets. Let’s start with Pacheco. Never felt like it had a chance, 8 carries for 23 yards. But then you see clips like this on Twitter.
He would have cashed the bet with ease if he wasn’t blind. Other than this play this bet was a dead fish flopping.
We then go to the other bet. The easiest win of all time? 0 carries for 0 yards for McKinnon. FREEEEE CASHHHHHHHHH!
Week One Record: 2-4 (-1.5U)
Week Two Preview
This week we have a little more pressure than normal. Our 0-1 hometown Vikings head into scumbag Philly to take on the Eagles.
Last week’s loss is in the past. Maybe Baker and the Bucs are gonna be super good this year? Everyone will be back on the ship after KIRKO delivers in primetime this week.
Positives For EVERY Negative!
Here are my three best bets for the Vikings vsEagles.
1. Dallas Goedert O4.5 Receptions +110 (1U) & Anytime TD Scorer +229 (.3U)
Starting we have Dallas Goedert OVER 4.5 receptions. Although I might be a tad nervous for this bet I think Jalen Hurts is going to target him numerous times early after not connecting ONE TIME during week one. Honestly might just take every prop I see on Goedert this week, I’m sensing a huge rebound week.
2. First Score FG +150 (1.5U) & First Turnover Fumble +155 (1.5U)
Just to let everyone know as long as these bets stay consistent they will be here every single week. The first score FG scares me more than the fumble one this week as I can easily see both teams driving down and scoring a TD on the first drive. As I say every week all it takes is 1/2 to make these a successful bet. Will upping my unit on the second week come back to get me?
3. Over 49 -115 (1U) & Over 24.5 1H -105 (1U)
Although I will find myself placing a bet on the Vikings, I will not be putting in my best bets. Not confident enough, and would rather throw in something that will have life the entire game. My expectations for this game are little defense with lots of offense. Do the primetime under-success from last year and the start of this year scare me? Of course. They are 3-0 to start the year, which means only one thing. We are DUE for a high-scoring game. Will the Vikings be able to score more than 7 points? Last year and in 2017 we proved we couldn’t, this year we prove we can. Take the over and cheer for TDs (other than the first score).
Odds Are Bossman Won’t Be Joining Me On #3
Best Of Luck
Down just a hair under 1.5 Units after week one, looking to rebound instantly. Yes, I know it’s a marathon and not a sprint throughout this long NFL season, but the last thing we want is to find ourselves dug in a hole early in the season. 6.3 Units deployed in our blog this week. How many will return?
Best of luck to everyone who follows my best bets, and SCREW everyone who fades.
And one last thing, never forget how big of SCUMBAGS Eagles fans are. Vikings > Eagles Fans.
Some people call me MarTy and some people call me Ryan. Wildcard when it comes to my writing. #FadeMe if I ever tweet out “locks”.