Turns Out The Vikings Suck Even When I Travel With The Team

Football NFL Vikings

This past weekend I traveled east to Baltimore, Maryland to cheer on our favorite disaster; the Minnesota Vikings. Although the Vikings suck (GOD, DO THEY FUCKING SUCK) and they ended up with the L, it was still an exciting game and a pretty fun trip overall.

First Off The Flights…

Unlike my trip to Las Vegas earlier this summer my flights to and from Baltimore on Delta were orgasmic. (Editor’s note: congrats on joining the Mile High club, Renz)

It wasn’t without some work on my part though…

We originally booked Sun Country on the way there and Delta on the way back to try and save a little bit of coin. About a month before the trip I received an email from Sun Country saying that instead of a direct flight Friday night, your bitch ass is going to Atlanta and then to Baltimore. Not today Satan. I then immediately canceled that flight and just booked a nonstop on Delta. Somehow Delta managed get my fat ass there and back on time and with no issue at all.

All this fucking around with airlines is just to exhausting for me. And that’s coming from a guy who only flies about two maybe three times a year. I’m officially declaring that I’m an exclusive Delta Airlines after Sun Country tried to fuck me and Southwest absolutely fucked me earlier this summer. Go fuck yourself Southwest Airlines.

Baltimore Isn’t As Much Of A Dump As I Thought

a beautiful bay picture to take away from the fact that the vikings suck
Don’t Mind The Big Shadow Blob

I got into Baltimore late Friday night and its first impression wasn’t great…

As we roll up to the entrance of the hotel and there’s a group of about ten people just hanging outside the entrance. These weren’t the most welcoming looking people either. It seemed like a tourist-in-a-foreign-country situation where I would’ve had to pay money to people not associated with the hotel at all to get in and out of the weed infused air entrance all the time or else I get all my shit taken. Turns out this wasn’t the case and I was able to go on my way.

Saturday was pretty fucking sweet though.

Like every other major city, Baltimore is littered with the electric scooters.

Saturday was filled with scootering and breweries. Can’t get much better than that on a beautiful fall day.

If ever in Baltimore, I suggest going to Diamondback Brewing, Checkerspot Brewing and Union Craft Brewing. Order enough beer to forget that the Vikings suck and enjoy. Seriously, Baltimore’s brewery scene has delicious beer with the typical brewery atmosphere filled with dogs and hot chicks freaking out over puppies.

Besides the tasty brew’s the views around the Inner Harbor area are pretty awesome. I hate to say it but it’s way cooler walking around Baltimore than Minneapolis.

Around Minneapolis you got rivers and the bridges which are fine, but besides that all we have are some bland tall buildings. Walking around Baltimore is filled with parks and water filled views that make you forget about the scary weed smoking people always outside your hotel.

Along with he views and the beers the food is pretty damn good too. We ventured over to Jimmy’s Seafood Saturday night for some crab cakes which were fucking delicious.

The only downfall was the shitty service which was kind of everywhere, but it’s the East Coast where everyone’s a douche.

The Main Event… The Vikings Game 🙁

the vikings suck but at least this stadium is nice

Even after the shitty loss against the Cowboys last week I was pretty excited for this game. Yeah, the Vikings suck sometimes, but they also have a tendency to play well against good opponents!

I kept hearing the Ravens fans are assholes and for the most part that really wasn’t the case.

I had one encounter in the bathroom with a drunk guy who got in my face and said, “This is Ravens country. No room for your ass here.” which I then responded “Go fuck yourself.” and proceeded to wash my hands (unlike many others) and went on my way.

Everyone saw the game so I’m not going to dwell on it. In typical fashion we had a couple explosive plays with the Justin Jefferson touchdown and the kick return but besides that it was filled with shitty run plays and third down screens.

Having it be a close game that went to overtime made it fun to be there, but fuck! Would I have rather seen a game a Vikings blow the Raven’s shit apart while in their house? Absolutely.

The season’s not over but after the Cowboys loss and going to Baltimore and witnessing another heartbreak in person…I’m losing hope.

Everyone’s got a a take and mine’s to ride this bitch out and see what’s what at the end of the season. Firing Zimmer, and Spielman and turning US Bank Stadium into an Amazon Warehouse halfway though the season isn’t going to make the situation and better.

As Minnesota Sports Fans All We Can Do Now Is Drink And Make Cup Snakes

Obviously, we’re all going to keep watching the Vikes destroy our mental health every week. Yeah, the Vikings suck, but how do we cope with that? We DRINK!

The one bright spot in Minnesota sports is the Wild. And a 10k Cup Snake night at the X is just what we need to get through this seasonal sports induced depression.

I’ll be there not only to drink away my god damn sorrows, but to watch the only team in this state worth a fuck and to break some cup snakes records.