Twins Get Fucked by Manager and Bullpen

Don’t know if anyone has noticed, but this 2021 Minnesota Twins baseball team has been playing a pretty fucking awful brand of baseball.

From top to bottom, we’re average at best. Our offense has been really disappointing. Sure we can put a few runs on the board, but 3-5 runs a game clearly isn’t enough. Our starting pitching, other than a few shit storm starts by Shoemaker and Maeda, has actaully been pretty good. Our rotation boasts a sub 4.00 ERA, which is one thing this Twins fan has not been able to say in a long, long time. With that combo of average offense and decent starting pitching, why isn’t our record at least at .500 or near it? Why do we lose to teams that we are allegedly better than?

They show flashes of brilliance one day, then absolutely suck ass the next.

Because Manager Rocco Baldelli and the bullpen are fucking the team. And fucking them REAL good.

Taking it from behind by the manager

Rocco Baldelli is a clown. He’s not an MLB manager. He’s a god damn clown. Mismanaging a team, especially in WINNABLE GAMES, will get your ass fired. That series against the Oakland Athletics back in April? Remember the tragic loss with a two-run lead? Yup. We got Rocco’d. Remember when Buxton was held out of the lineup for no reason earlier this season? Yup. We got Rocco’d.

One thing I absolutely don’t agree with is the rate he gives his players rest. If they are actually burned out and need a day off, by all means get them that day of rest! Even if you’re trying to ease a player back into the swing of things after an injury, take your time. But resting guys to avoid injuries does not make sense to me. Don’t care what anyone says, it makes no sense. If a player feels healthy and wants to go out there and play, PLAY THEM FOR FUCKS SAKE. Don’t sit them. PLAY THEM, especially if it helps this wretched team. Rocco needs to know he isn’t a doctor. He’s a half-assed MLB manager.

A couple other notes about Rocco: He’s too damn nice. He’s soft, too caring and nurturing. Where’s the intensity? Where’s the Aaron Boone-esk home plate rants to fire up the boys? THEY CAN BE FUCKING SAVAGES IN THAT BOX TOO, ROCCO!! Truthfully, we are only one absolute meltdown away from turning some of these guys around.

Going back to Rocco’s decision making, I can’t blame it all on him. The two stupid ass decisions he made that I mentioned above I can for sure hold that over his head. But sometimes, even when us fans agree with the decision, it can backfire. It’s the fucking way she goes, boys.

Twins Bullpen pitchers that get scored on more than your mom

The bullpen has been absolutely fucking tragic.

So tragic, that Mr. Omar from Everybody Hates Chris might as well be the sound effect for when we bring someone out of the bullpen. The Twins bullpen ERA, that is way north of 4 runs per 9 innings, is among the leagues worst and they have allowed about 60 percent of inherited runners to score. It’s not fun to watch, folks. Regardless of how many McGoldens I drive into my gut, nothing numbs the pain of pathetic pitching. With that being said, my liver now hates this team more than I do.

No lead lead is safe when the Twins bullpen takes over the game. They have given up an insane amount of 9th inning and extra inning runs. Some of those extra inning runs are due to MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred’s new fucking idea of speeding up the game (which is one of the worst things that has happened to baseball and I ain’t arguing it either). But that’s what bullpens are meant for. They are supposed to be preserving games, not bending over at the waist and grabbing their ankles so the opposing team can plow us!

It’s not just the 9th inning and extra innings that are killing us, it’s the 6th and 7th innings where we’re tied and we need the bullpen to come through while we wait for the once explosive offense to score. It’s so incredibly frustrating as fans.

They are all no names. Nobodies. Fucking scrubs.

King Bullpen Scrub – Alex Colomé

The main culprit for this teams bullpen struggles is Alex Colomé. He is THE king bullpen scrub. Say what you want about other pitchers being worse than Colomé, but his struggles have costed us more than most. Once the Colomé train fell of the tracks, the other pitchers seemed to follow.

With an ERA north of 5.00 and a WHIP over 1.50 combined, Colomé might as well be released. I’d be fine with eating the rest of his contract and bringing up a new arm. There is an excuse for unexperienced pitchers to an extent, but not for veterans like Colomé.

Not only can Colomé not get out of minor jams, he pitches himself into jams. That is literally the Closing Pitcher’s job: Close out the game and shut down rallies. Thankfully, Rocco made the decision to remove Colomé from the list of A team pitchers and refuses to throw him in any game that is close. But after Colomé was removed, no other pitchers have stepped up. We suck ass, plain and simple.

Lost Season

I think it is safe to say that it is a lost season. Let the fire sale start. Trade Andrelton Simmons, Nelson Cruz, Taylor Rodgers and even Jorge Polanco. Get some draft picks for what guys of value we have.

We all knew it, but this was the last year with this core. This isn’t 2017 when we thought we were out of it and ended up in contention. We had a competent bullpen that year. I would not be shocked if we finished with a record around 72-90 or worse. We’re pathetic. The 10K softball team could give this team a run for their money!

I will scream it until I’m blue in the face: Rocco Baldelli and the Bullpen FUCKED this team out of contention.