2 AM Internet Rabbit Hole: The Brutal Sport of Dambe

Combat Sports

The number of times I’ve caught myself in another state of mind faded, or browsing away on my phone only to find a unique subject catch my eye and go full tilt down a rabbit hole until I force myself to stop with the realization that I have to be at work in a few hours. Well, this very thing happened to me absolutely crippled in bed yesterday when I discovered the combat sport of Dambe.

What the fuck is Dambe?

Dambe is a Nigerian martial art in which fighters use their dominant hand aka the spear (how fucking badass) and beat the absolute piss out of each other. The hand is wrapped in a cloth and usually some sort of rope until it looks like a glove that Thanos would sport. After doing a little digging on the sport it looks like these badasses used to dip it in a sticky resin and coat it in glass as well until someone with a conscience told them this is a bad thing. This is a 3 round sport with no time limits and it only ends when you knock someone down. They call this “killing” the opponent.

The worst part about watching this is that it truly emphasized how soft I am. It caused me to reflect on how manly I am, and I discovered that the toughest thing bout me is that I drink black coffee. Now I’ve been in my fair share of fights on the ice, that’s how I ended up with a fucked up nose, but my fight strategy was to hang on long enough to impress the boys until I could turtle. It’s really tough being this ugly and not intimidating in the slightest.

I think my favorite part of all of this is the lack of strategy. No need for the fancy bullshit and, that’s what makes this so enjoyable. Makes you think that any blogger could do this sport. Who knows maybe you’ll see a 10K Dambe video, but I’ll be sure to call in sick that day.