We’re At the Point of The Pandemic Where We Name Snowplows

Holy shit is life boring right now. With the combination of cold (getting warmer), slushy grass, no March Madness (yet), and are into year 2 of a global pandemic… It’s safe to say there is not a lot going on right now.

So what do you do when life gets too boring? You start naming shit such as the life-saving machines that allow us to still drive like assholes:

Per KSTP: Eight state snowplows in Minnesota now have names. Tuesday, the Minnesota Department of Transportation announced the winners of its “Name a Snowplow” contest.The winning names (in order of most votes received) and their future homes are:

• Plowy McPlowFace — Metro District
• Ope, Just Gonna Plow Right Past Ya — District 4
• Duck Duck Orange Truck — District 1
• Plow Bunyan — District 2
• Snowbi Wan Kenobi — District 6
• F. Salt Fitzgerald — District 7
• Darth Blader — District 3
• The Truck Formerly Known As Plow — District 8

Let’s start off by giving a round of applause to the people who thought of these, because they are absolute GOLD. Originally, when I heard that MNDOT was doing this, it made me think of the bit from Anchorman:

What Would I Name Snowplows If It Were Up To Me?

What would I name snowplows? Let me give you my list that got shut down because MNDOT is full of cowards.

Plow Me, Daddy.

The Plow 90s.

Kenny Fucking Plowers.

Planes, Trains, and Snowplows.

Plowhub.com

This Truck Is Better At Basketball Than Every Single Timberwolf.

Buy A Soviet Savior Shirt At 10ktakesmn.com Right Now.

Plow Me Harder, Daddy.

Even though the snow, winter, February, and Covid suck, you can be a little less pissed off when you see Plow Bunyan absolutely DELETING snow off of the roads in Minnesota.

If that’s not doing it for you, might I recommend reading about the sketchiest motel in the world or the Ochocinco Meal Prep Service?

name snowplows