Where The Hell Did All These Streaming Services Come From?


What happened to the days of turning on the TV and just clicking up or down to watch what you want? Now you have to have a smart tv or a smart stick thing to even think about watching new shows. At what point is enough enough and instead of paying $12/month for like 20 different streaming services I could just go back to paying like $60 for fucking everything. Maybe splurge for like HBO if something as good as entourage ever comes out again.

What the hell happened?

I was watching the Emmys for ten minutes the other night when I noticed that I didn’t know any of the goddamn shows they were talking about. I’d like to start a petition to go back to the good old days. Where are my homies at CBS, ABC, and NBC? I realize that you guys have made some horseshit shows since I don’t watch them but I thought maybe you would’ve had a reboot of Grey’s Anatomy or something.

Granted there were a few familiar names on the list but here’s a shit ton that I had no clue existed:

  • The Undoing
  • Halston
  • Hamilton (I get it. Seems like it was a good show on stage but when was it made into a show?)
  • I May Destroy You
  • Genius: Aretha (Made me think of urethra)
  • Mare of Easttown
  • The Kominsky Method
  • Shirll
  • Ted Lasso (I now know what it is because that’s apparently the best show ever made. But who has Apple TV? I also didn’t realize that was a thing until the other night.)
  • Pose
  • Perry Mason
  • Lovecraft Country

Maybe I’m an idiot…but what are these about? Where do I even watch these? I could spend the time to look but I’m guessing at this point these guys are a lost cause for me. Make more shows like Entourage.

The Good Parts

On a Sunday afternoon, you could turn to channel 4, then to channel 9, and then hit that magical back button when swapping between the two games when you got commercials. Then, the game changed. NFL Sunday Ticket launches and everyone loses their shit. Who really needs to watch EVERY game. Especially when you can only watch one at a time. Even if there are fantasy football implications, I’m just not that interested in the Bengals/Jets game.

Then came Red Zone…now that’s a fucking idea. Now I can watch the exciting scoring plays without having to look for them? Hells yeah. I fucking LOVE NFL Red Zone, and if the Vikings aren’t playing it’s the only way to watch Sunday action but do I really need to spend $10 a month to watch something once a week? I do indeed…but it’s just one more thing to pay for and one more thing to keep track of.

Now I understand those aren’t really “streaming services,” but it’s still a pay-to-watch type deal so I scoop them all together.

The few things these streaming services are good for are the shows that are on some of the premium channels that I also do not want to pay for. So instead of paying for Showtime, I can watch Shameless once it comes out on Netflix. While I wait I’d watch The Office (gone to some other streaming service RIP), or some other show that I’ve seen a billion times until something new comes out. Or catch Entourage on HBO Max and when I get tired of it just rip through a couple of banging movies.

The one exception is the Mandalorian…the show is the tits. I did subscribe to Disney Plus just to watch that but until they come out with a new season I ain’t going back.

Maybe someday? PLEASE?!

Netflix and HBO Max are the only two streaming services I currently have and am satisfied with them, but apparently I’m missing out on a ton of shit. Even if I had all these fucking things there’s no way I’d have time to watch all these shows. I would end up paying for all these and just go back to watching Shameless and Entourage all the time.

I just think it’s wrong to have to subscribe to a bunch of shit just to watch the best shows. I’m sure they do it for money but I’m not falling for it.

To all the big wig TV people reading this…PLEASE make it easier to watch shows so I don’t fall behind the times…maybe someday it will be a little simpler for the simple folks like me. Maybe then I could catch the latest episode of Ted Lasso or the Genius: Urethra.

P.S. Entourage is my favorite show and the best show ever made.