Which Vikings Away Game Is The Move?


Every year me and Vikings fans from all over make a pilgrimage to a faraway town to watch our boys hopefully get a dub. This isn’t a decision I take lightly either. Not only is it a fuck ton of money (flights, beer, hotel, tickets, beer, food, beer) but also you don’t want to end up in some shit hole of a town for the weekend. So, which Vikings away game is the move? Just because a city has an NFL team doesn’t mean it’s a fun place to visit.

Last year was Buffalo. Unreal town. Unreal game. One of the best decisions I’ve made in my entire life. We all remember that game. Dalvin’s (R.I.P.) long touchdown run. Jefferson’s unbelievable 4th down catch. Josh Allen’s memorable fumble at the goal line. Patrick Peterson’s pick to clinch. I’m hard and hungover just thinking about it.

The Absolutely Nots

Week 8: Green Bay

What A Beautiful Skyline

If I wanted to go to Green Bay I’d save myself the time and money and just go to St. Cloud (no offense St. Cloud but I mean c’mon. You’re St. Cloud). It’s just a bare town of hillbillies that think they have a special football stadium. And where do you even stay? You don’t. You either have to stay like 45 minutes away or you’re driving your ass home. Oh, good idea Green Bay! I’ll just casually drive home after having 26 beers. Shame on you, idiots.

Week 9: Atlanta

It’s nothing personal but I really just have no interest in going to Atlanta. I was there when I was younger and it’s kind of a dump and nothing really to see. I think there’s just a bunch of big corporations that are headquartered there. Like Coca-Cola and CNN or some shit like that. I’m not sure, but I’m not going to waste my time researching Atlanta.

“Welcome To Atlanta” is one of my favorite songs though

Week 18: Detroit

As exciting of a young team that the Lions are, the city of Detroit is an absolute dump. I was there when I was younger. The first thing the front desk told us at our hotel was the streets not to go down. Not just at night but always. Mmm this is going to be such a fun trip.

The Lions are going to be a fun team to watch and I could see this being an awesome game. But if I were to go to this game, I’d like to show up 10 minutes before kickoff and fly out immediately after. With a police escort to and from the airport both ways.

The Meh’s

Week 2: Philadelphia (Thursday Night Football)

A Thursday night football away game would be kind of sick. Fly out on a Wednesday, party all day Thursday and then watch the Vikings kill the fuck face Eagles. Then maybe stick around a day or two and see the city.

BUT! We’ve all heard the horror stories about the fans in Philly. As fun as it would be, I’m not really interested in getting hit in the head by a tube sock filled with batteries or some shit like that.

Fuck this kid

Week 4: Carolina

First off, I’m not 100% sure where I’m even going. North Carolina? South Carolina? Who knows?

It would be fun to go see number 1 overall pick Bryce Young sling it to former Viking Adam Thielen but that’s not nearly enough for me. I’m not sure what else to say. Probably isn’t horrible but I’m not wasting my money on this.

Week 6: Chicago

I’ve been watching that show “The Bear” which makes me want to go to Chicago just to get a hot beef sandwich.

I’ve been to Chicago a handful of times and it’s pretty awesome. It would also be fun to see the Vikes go up against a division rival with a potentially stud QB in Justin Fields. But it’s so easy to go to Chicago from Minnesota which doesn’t make it very special. If you were crunched on time and money and still wanted to go to an away game, this would probably be the one I’d go to.

Week 15: Cincinnati

This was the one I was probably most torn on. I don’t know dick about Cincinnati. What I do know, is that Joe Burrow and the Bengals are fucking awesome. If the Vikings are still contenders come Week 15, we might be getting a repeat of the Vikings/Bills game last year.

I’m guessing that it would probably be a pretty good time but with a couple of better options, I’ll be passing on Cincinnati this season.

Book The Flights

Week 11: Denver (Sunday Night Football)

Picture this. The Vikings are 8-2 and are 1st in the NFC North. It’s a cold, November evening in Denver. You and your buddies have been responsibly drinking and doing the weed all weekend. Now it’s time to kick it off against Bronco country (let’s ride) and Russel Wilson.

Sounds orgasmic to me. I’ve been to Denver and it’s sick. Coors Brewery. Ever heard of it? Other awesome breweries and high people all over the place.

Plus, seeing new primetime Kirk kick the shit out of the Broncos would be the cherry on top.

Week 14: Las Vegas

Now, I really have zero interest in seeing the Raiders play a football game. What I do have an interest in is going to Vegas for a long weekend and seeing the Vikings while I’m there. I mean come on, it’s Vegas! What respectable Vikings fan wouldn’t want to go to Vegas? It’s literally the best trip you could ask for. Gambling, eating, shows, Vikings game. It’s a no brainer. The NFL was onto something putting a team in Sin City.

I cannot confirm but I’ve heard that the tickets to the Raiders games are stupid expensive. But what are you going to remember on your death bed? How epic that Vikings weekend in Vegas was? Or how you saved so much money not going to that epic Vikings game in Vegas?