You Should Watch NASCAR

We’re all about to enter a dark time of the year for sports. Football is over. Baseball hasn’t started (if it ever does). We do have hockey and basketball, at least. The Wild are kick ass and the Wolves aren’t a complete disaster so we have that going for us. But what do you watch on a the weekends if the Wild and T-Pups ain’t playing? You should watch NASCAR.

The Stereotype

For the longest time this is what I imagined the typical NASCAR fan looked like. Getting hammered in a parking lot, huffing in burnt oil and exhaust and then being hosed down with Old Spice on the way into the stadium. I’m not saying they don’t exist, they do, but from the few NASCAR fans I’ve met and watched a race with this isn’t the case. They’re people just like you and me.

Allegiances

The best part of becoming a new NASCAR fan is picking a driver or team. There’s no real geographical relationship to a driver. So you don’t need to worry about rooting for a horseshit driver or team. Kind of like loser Packers fans always claiming their mom or dad is from Wisconsin so they HAVE to be Packers fans. You don’t. You’re a loser.

I don’t remember the first race I ever watched besides there wasn’t shit on TV while hungover on a Sunday and kind of got hooked.

I kept seeing a Hooters (nice 😉) car hauling ass around the track and I thought, “That’s my guy.” Little did I know that Chase Elliot was the driver and the most popular driver in the sport who went on the win the NASCAR cup championship that year. I inadvertently picked the Yankees of NASCAR but I don’t care. I like Hooters. He normally rocks the Napa Auto logo but when you see the hooters car, boy is it a treat.

What Do You Have To Lose?

I’m not a diehard fan, but it really is fun to watch. The middle of the race can get a little boring but that gives you time to hammer a couple beers and snacks. It depends on the race, but the last 40 laps or so are ELECTRIC. These guys are pulling 180 mph, driving about 5 feet from each other. And the best/worst part about it is when they start ramming into each other. These fucking crashes are viscous. They never look THAT bad but imagined flipping over in a car going 180.

The only thing crazier than the wrecks are the betting odds. It’s a lot like golf.

Granted the chances of your driver winning are slim, but when the odds for the favorite driver is like +1900? I’m in. Only makes it that more interesting. Except if you’re driver gets wrecked early on…that sucks ass.

So what do you have to lose? That’s a bad question. What do you have to gain? Maybe you like it? Maybe you watch it again? Maybe you watch a few more races and now you now unironically own NASCAR shirts with giant graphics on them?

That’s what happened to me and I’m damn proud of it. You should watch NASCAR.