Remi Lindholm Skiing

Your life may suck, but at least you aren’t Remi Lindholm

Everything Else Outdoors

The name “Remi Lindholm” most definitely does not ring a bell to most people. He’s a 24-year old cross-country skier that represented Finland in the 2022 Winter Olympics.

There, now you know as much as I do about him.

remi lindholm

But, if you look him up right this very second and do some research, you’ll find hundreds upon hundreds of links to different articles about him. Unfortunately nearly 99.98% of these articles aren’t about his skills as a skier or any humanitarian work he does. You won’t find anything about his family or how he got into skiing.

You’ll only see one thing.

Lindholm’s penis froze during an event at the 2022 Winter Olympics…

Yes, you read that right. Lindholm’s penis froze during an event at the 2022 Winter Olympics. Oddly enough this isn’t the first time it’s happened either.

Randy from Trailer Park Boys doesn't like Frozen Cocks
Randy from Trailer Park Boys gets it!

Now, I’m not going to fixate on the man’s genitalia, I even told my editor I had my doubts about getting out 1,000 words about another man’s meat, but this is rather odd. I’m no skier myself (I prefer snowboarding), but aren’t you just layered from head to toe?

I get you have to be somewhat aerodynamic and light weight but I’ve never heard of this before. Clearly he needs to layer up even more than he is now. If he was layered, the poor man would not have had to put a heat pack on his meat.

Why your life is better than Remi Lindholm’s

If I’m Lindholm at this very moment, I’m thinking that life couldn’t get any worse. Your cock blocked you from finishing in a higher position in your race the other day.

Well, it got much worse.

Enter Remi Lindholm’s Wikipedia Page

Remi Lindholm's Wikipedia Page
Remi Lindholm’s sad Wikipedia Page

Imagine having your Wikipedia page being strictly about both of your frozen penis injuries. Having just one incident where my dick got frostbite would be enough for me to change my name, move to El Salvador, and become a bartender on the beach. It would certainly be different if he had accolades to go along with his member mishap, but sadly that isn’t the case. Can you imagine training for your shot for years only to have your schlong stiffen in the moment?

Hell, buddy’s not even that good of a cross country skier. I mean, he made the Olympics, he’s better at one thing than I’ll ever be at something. Well, two things if you count getting freezer burn on your weiner as a thing. But I truly cannot fathom almost losing my personal ski pole TWICE to be 28th at something. I guess Remi just built different.

Next time you complain about how much life has you down, remember the name “Remi Lindholm”. It could be worse. It could always be worse.

Just hope Lindholm doesn’t suffer from long-term shrinkage as a result of this injury…